Summary
An international bestseller—the extraordinary memoir of a
German-Nigerian woman who learns that her grandfather was the brutal Nazi
commandant depicted in Schindler’s List. My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me is
Teege’s searing chronicle of grappling with her haunted past. Her research into
her family takes her to Poland and to Israel. Award-winning journalist Nikola
Sellmair supplies historical context in a separate, interwoven narrative. Step
by step, horrified by her family’s dark history, Teege builds the story of her
own liberation. (Goodreads)
Review
Growing up in
post-war Germany, particularly as an adopted child of Nigerian and German
descent, was a difficult row to hoe. Add to this the complexity of feeling
an innate sense of abandonment, and you have a fairly accurate assessment of
Jennifer Teege’s childhood. Although Jennifer was placed with a fabulous,
middle-class family, Jennifer always felt like the odd one out—she was of
darker skin tone than her adoptive family, she stood head and shoulders above
most children her own age, not to mention the glaring realization that she had
been given up by a mother that she can vividly recall. Even though she felt the deck had been
consistently stacked against her, Jennifer courageously pushed through these
barriers to become a successful and productive member of society.
At the age of 38,
Jennifer was perusing through the library when she was drawn to a book with a
familiar face on the cover—the face of her biological mother. She quickly takes
it from the shelves and opens the pages much to her own shock. After devouring
the information inside, Jennifer is alarmed to find that her biological
grandfather was none other than Nazi Commandant Amon Goeth, of Schindler’s List
fame.
Armed with this
new found knowledge of her familial history, Jennifer spirals into a deep
depression. Drowning in her own self-imposed guilt, she clings to what she thought she knew about her
biological family. She struggles with what she remembers and what she now
knows, prompting her to reach out to her natural mother and sister. These
meetings, while essential to her healing, do not go as planned, causing
Jennifer to fall deeper into despair. How can it be that she descends from such
evil? Is this malevolent nature hereditary? Will her Jewish friends shun her
once they find out the truth?
Before she can
find the answers that will create a deliverance from this vile torment,
Jennifer must face her darkest, most terrifying fears. Jennifer’s journey of
understanding and eventual reinvigoration will lead her to Israel, Krakow, and
deep within the nadirs of the death camp overseen by her heinous
Grandfather. Through the written word,
Jennifer and her co-author, Nikola Sellmair, offer an intimate look into a
complete mental and physical breakdown, while showing that in life, your
genetics do not define you. You are, instead, a product of who you choose to
be, and for Jennifer, that was a survivor.
I thoroughly enjoyed this short read. It runs the gambit
of emotion, from the utter devastation of discovering your family’s murderous
history to the psychological liberation of learning to let it all go. I was
pleasantly surprised to be so beguiled by this story that shows the Holocaust
from a new and unique perspective that is typically missing in most historical
accounts of that period in time. I give this book four stars for its raw,
visceral nature. Through the internal digestion of her family's past, Jennifer
was able to humanize such a callous and unimaginable evil that was Amon Goeth,
while reconciling that the monster did not reside within her own soul.