You Are Not in Control

and neither is Shayla Poling

So you've got this plot in mind. A full-grown plot, mind you, not just a fetal idea, half-formed and unable to survive outside the bounds of your nurturing brain.

Don't get attached. There are those who want to see your plot completely and totally derailed. They'll stop at nothing to dismantle everything you've built over days or weeks of planning and prewriting. These people? Your characters.

"But my characters aren't real!" you may be shouting at your monitor, completely disregarding the futility of this act. "They can't control me! I control them! I AM THEIR GOD!"

No, my friend, no you are not.

Also, maybe stop yelling at your electronics. It's weird.

Writing is an act of evolution, not intelligent design. Plot evolves as you write it, growing limbs in places you didn't expect and stepping across the boundaries of genre just as the first footed creatures waddled out of the sea.

Pokemon has taught us that evolution can be a little extreme.

Good characters evolve from simple caricatures into complex, multicellular beings. They think. They breathe. They choose. You can poke and prod them into place, force them at pen-point to do what you need them to, but unless what you need them to do aligns perfectly with what they would do, the action will seem as forced as it is. As a reader, you may have noticed some of the more pervasive examples of this: characters losing half of their brain cells for just long enough to make the stupid decision necessary to push the plot forward, characters going against their own previously established characterization, the plot dropping coincidence upon coincidence onto its character's heads in order to force them onward. In the hands of a competent writer, these moments can be catalysts for a character's evolution. In the hands of an incompetent writer, they are at best a digression and at worst a u-turn in a character's arc.

AZULA ALWAYS LIES, ZUKO. WE COVERED THIS.

Fueling your plot with stupid leaves a pretty hefty signature, enough to pollute your reader's enjoyment—and belief in your world and the events taking place within it—permanently. Don't make your readers roll their eyes.

Like a mother bird, an author must sometimes shove its fledgling cast members from the nest and hope they flap themselves on course. Their path may be a little circuitous, but if you've crafted characters who fit your story and, more importantly, your world, they'll make their way to a conclusion. Eventually. After many unexpected—but nonetheless important—detours.

Respect your characters. Let them make mistakes, but don't force mistakes upon them. Back up characterization with scenes that will let your characters display their strengths and weaknesses. Provide the setting, provide the conflict, then let them improvise. It might not work out, but that's what editing is for.

Editing is also for ruining your life and damaging your self-confidence, but we'll cover that in a separate post.

Anti-Procrastination Techniques

as collected by Shayla Poling

Whether you're writing the next Harry Potter, a future classic, or that 10-page final that needs to be done by noon tomorrow, you will face the enemy of all writing: procrastination. A beast that haunts the mind and hungers for productivity, procrastination can convince you to do almost anything to avoid your work. If you ever find yourself cleaning the house instead of typing out your thesis/novel/blog post/extremely important life-changing Facebook status, the following tricks may be for you.

1. Cut off all access to the internet by disconnecting from your wifi network, pulling out your ethernet cable, or both. You may also want to throw your phone or tablet at least halfway across the room. This will make browsing the internet just inconvenient enough to stop you from doing it unless you get truly desperate.
2. Remove all objects from your desk. Fiddling can be surprisingly entertaining when the alternative is getting something done. For example, I just spent at least five minutes messing with a rubber band on my desk instead of writing this blog post.



Learn to recognize these agents of procrastination. It may save your life.

3. Get all cleaning done before your scheduled writing time. Make sure to clear every nook and cranny of dust, lest you find some excuse to get up from your chair and leave your writing unfinished.
4. Likewise, make sure that all other chores have been finished ahead of time.
5. You don't need a snack.
6. You don't need to drink your entire soda in one gulp just so you'll have an excuse to get up and get another one.
7. You just walked the dog. You don't need to walk the dog again. The dog doesn't need to be walked twice an hour. If you didn't walk the dog before sitting down to write, refer back to number 4 so that you won't make that mistake a second time.
8. Stop drawing cats all over that piece of paper. I thought I told you to remove ALL objects from your desk. Paper is an object. Pencils are objects. You're very bad at following directions, aren't you?



No. This is not useful. This will never be useful.

9. I see your pointer drifting toward that offline game. Don't you dare click that icon.
10. I mean it.
11. You'll just be hurting yourself!
12. There we go. Why don't we add a rule to fend off further temptation. How about: Move all video game icons from your Desktop to a special folder. Label it something repulsive to dissuade yourself from browsing through it.

You can customize this list of tips by studying your own behavior closely. How do you waste time? What excuses "force" you to get up from your computer? These simple questions can help you develop strategies to beat back procrastination and finally get some real work done.

The Writing Process

as experienced by Shayla Poling

Start off by opening your word processor of choice. This step is crucial. Not only does it allow you to type words (remember: words are vital to the writing process), the icon's presence on your taskbar will serve as a constant reminder that you sat down to write, not to browse Facebook or get caught up in a video game that will devour your time faster than you can say "Just one more turn."

Oh how it taunts me.

Every ten minutes, bring up your blank word processor document. Stare at the blinking line, wondering why it refuses to produce words of its own accord.

Please do the thing. I'm begging you.

Eventually, a word will come to you. Don't panic! Transferring that word from your mind to the page is a relatively simple process. Just follow these steps:

1. Keeping the word in mind, minimize whatever browser you've been using to procrastinate.
2. Open your word document.
3. Find the first letter of your word on the keyboard. If you don't have a keyboard, this, as well as the next few steps, may be a little difficult.
4. Press the key corresponding to the first letter of your word. If you push the wrong key, locate the "Backspace" button on the right side of your keyboard. Press that button to erase your mistake, and we'll forget this little mix-up ever happened.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 with each letter of your word.
6. When you've typed out the full word, congratulations! You've taken your first steps on the path to authorship. Feel free to bask in the glow of your monumental accomplishment.

This first word is a true classic.

Now that you've written a word, more words may start popping into your mind. This can be a frightening experience for newcomers. How do you sift through the good words and the bad? The answer is simple: Don't. Words are rare and fickle beasts. At this stage in the process, you can't afford to set any loose. Write down every single word, making sure to follow the above steps for each.

Eventually, after many hours of alternating procrastination and productivity, you will have between one sentence and five pages of writing. You may now feel justified in "taking a break." However, any time you choose to "take a break," you will likely have to restart the entire process. It is recommended that you reach your intended page/paragraph/sentence minimum before "taking a break."

For best results, repeat these steps daily.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT begin editing until you have a finished draft. If you start editing at this stage, you are likely to second guess yourself. Second guessing can be fatal for a fledgling piece of writing.